Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thirteen Inanimate objects I talk to on a regular basis

Thirteen Inanimate objects I talk to on a regular basis

1) My fridge. Almost twice a day I open the door and ask my cooling unit what I am going to make for dinner.
2) My computer. Everyone must talk to their computer. Lately I've been telling it how much it sucks as it seems to be in the grips of some demon.
3) My car. I politely ask my car what the hell the car in front of me is doing.
4) Other driver's cars. I not so politely ask them what they are doing
5) My cell phone. It seems when my network drops me that I end up finishing my stories to the piece of plastic stuck to my ear until I notice the blaring sound of silence on the other end.
6) My keys. They seem to rearrange themselves on a regular basis so I never know which one is for the top lock and which one is for the bottom.
7) My purse. I'm usually begging my bag for a clue to which dark crevice my money or debit card has hidden in as people stare me down in the supermarket check out line.
8) This morning I talked to the bathroom door, (not so nicely I might add), as I slammed into it during a 2 am trip.
9) The copy machine at work. the thing must see me coming ...................
10) The elliptical trainer at my gym. It likes to underestimate the calories burned and time spent.
11) My watch, "wasn't it just 11:00?".
12) My office clock. This thing is forever slow.
13) My pants or skirt, "I know you fit last week !"


dave said...

At least you have kids and pets to blame it on

Kate G said...

I'm fairly certain some of my inanimate conversations have responded. On more than one morning, my coffee pot timer told me to go to hell & I heard it!